This is one of these days. I often find myself wishing it could be like this forever. Peter Pan syndrome much? I don't want to go to college, to take responsibility of things I can't really handle. It's perfect right now. My grandmother is still here, my parents still support me, yet I'm not restricted and solely reliable on them. I have money, can hold up some kind of job, and am able to get around and make my own decisions. I don't have to pay for my food, the bills, my home. I look 17, because I am 17. I don't have to worry about wrinkles or appearances; I can do something crazy and abnormal because I'm a teenager. Imagine me wearing bright yellow nail polish, elaborate and ridiculous clothing at 30...
I guess we all have to grow up. After all, it's pretty much inevitable. But living as a seventeen year old isn't bad at all. Sure, there are times when I get into little fits and am upset over (pretty trivial) things, but little do I realize that life has been pretty good to me.
I'm not suicidal or anything, but I understand why my friend (actually, two of them, both of whom are very, very... unique) said (s)he wanted to die young. I can kind of empathize; these years seem to be the best years.
I don't view suicide as weak or intelligent, it's just a choice. Some ask: "why die?" but at the same time, some say, "why live?". Some view it as giving up, but others view it as wise and pain-reducing (oh, the irony).
It doesn't really matter. I just dislike those who pass judgments, because suicide isn't abnormal to me. It's shocking if the person in question is someone you know, but in the end it is just how some people deal, knowing death is imminent and all that blahblahblah goodness.
Sorry, I went off on a tangent there. You can clearly see that I'm not Christian. Affirming that suicide is okay and thinking little of the afterlife.
But still, you never know what the future can hold for you. Of course, future's ultimate destination is death, but along the path, there may be more riveting and wonderful (but always, paired with depressing/terrible) moments I've yet to experience. Who knows what's in store, so let's ride along. (Or maybe it's just me. I'll continue walking.)
The main point is: I'm going to do the best I can to happily live these years the way I want to live them. Specifically, these, since these years give me the most freedom.
And to be honest, it's not over until I say so. (Which is never the true case, because I don't have the power to control anything).
:)
Happy Friday!
And I want this hoodie... I need something yellow!
Also need sneakers, some rings, a dress, and a perfect present for my twin :)
